Epic Greeting from English Class to Mrs. Belyea

Hail Mrs. Belyea! Educator of many various levels of mathematics. I humbly come to thy class in my noble pursuit of the knowledge that lies in the textbook of pre-calculus that I would most undoubtedly fail to contemplate without thy instruction that thou providest me with. I have been brought here from my home in Climax, where much corn grows, and in the land of the country where many lakes gently lie out night under the stars in their uttermost beauty, to asketh for thy help in the problems of the assignment which though bestoweth upon me. I humbly request that thou grantest me thy divine wisdom in guidance in hopes that I may meet with success in the terrible trials I may face later in this life.